When you hear drums, think weddings, not bands.

As the new year begins, and people set their sights on new goals, there’s a different type of new beginning brewing for many. In the South of India, the wedding season picks up just after the harvest festival (Pongal). And there’s something for everyone, whether they’re in the inner circle or not.

While you might be used to the sight of the bride and groom finalising a marriage with vows, or tying of a sacred thread, there’s so much more to a South Indian wedding (a term which honestly doesn’t do justice to the diversity between communities). Some weddings such as the Kerala Christian ceremony follow a traditional, one day itinerary, whereas a Tamil Chettiar wedding could go on for six days! Throw into the mix a keen interest to mimic North Indian customs such as the Sangeeth and Mehendi, and there’s really no telling what you’re signing up for!

No matter the customs, the wedding party usually has their hands full for a couple of months leading up to the event. Aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant relatives pour their hearts and souls into the festivities, to make sure there’s not a flower out of place on the big day(s). Though the list is long and endless, here are some idiosyncrasies that make each wedding a unique affair:

  • Kashi Yatra – common across a number of weddings, this roleplay closely connects to Vedic literature, according to which, a man of marriageable age would have to visit holy places in search of spirituality. As tradition goes, the groom, in a last ditch effort to save himself from the shackles of marriage, departs on a journey to Kashi to lead life as an ascetic. But his father-in-law-to-be stops him dead in his tracks and convinces him that a life of solitude isn’t for him. It’s quite a scene to watch with most of the groom’s friends egging him on to protect his interests!
  • A Coorgi wedding affair – the simplest of all weddings, the Coorgis don’t stand on ceremony. The entire celebration is an intimate affair with song and dance signalling the start. A simple exchange of garlands is all it takes to call another one’s own. Ending with a famous delicacy ( Pandhi or Pork curry) in the parts is likely the only tradition that will last for eons to come!
  • Sadhya and Biryani – continuing the tryst with food, Nair and Muslim weddings have their love for feasts down to a T. Sadhya served at Nair weddings comes with 25 items served on a plantain leaf, and is every foodie’s heaven. On the other hand, the exotic biryani served at a Muslim wedding will likely invade your dreams for months after the fact!
  • All that glitters, is most definitely gold – if Karnataka and Kerala take the cake with food, then Tamil weddings are a feast for the eyes. The wedding industry in this South Indian state may very well be keeping the jewellery industry afloat! The extensive Chettiar and Gounder weddings are characterised by grand shows of wealth, intertwined with their strong ties to tradition.
  • The Andal kondai and oonjal – a typical Brahmin wedding in Tamil Nadu has all the hallmarks of a great Bollywood film, and none of the Hindi. The festivities begin early in the morning, with bouts of song, and a show of feeding sweetmeats to the bride and groom, as they are seated on a swing, in anticipation of a happily ever after.
  • Celebrating childlike innocence – what has sad beginnings in the practice of child marriage from the yesteryears, is now a fun, family-friendly celebration after the wedding. Many different customs include some variation of playing with coloured rice, rolling coconuts, and fishing for rings, to keep the bride and groom entertained after the long rituals they navigate to become husband and wife.

Every wedding is unique in its own way, and there’s really no way to capture it on paper. All that’s left to say is, if you have the chance to attend a South Indian wedding, you might not want to miss it!

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